A For Effort
by syrraki
Summary: Though inexperienced in relationships, Naruto and Sasuke give it their all. Most of the time. A collection of oneshot, mostly unrelated stories. Mostly NarutoxSasuke, some Naruto Sasuke.
1. Because Your Mom

**A For Effort**

**Introductory note: **This 'story' is just a collection of oneshots that I have posted in other places. They're not particularly well crafted but I know some people don't like to use livejournal so I thought I'd put them all in one place.

All stories are NarutoxSasuke unless otherwise stated. Genres and ratings vary.

The story image is by Willow_creation who makes beautiful and also funny icons on livejournal.

Enjoy!

**Because Your Mom**

Naruto was fighting in the queue for the ice cream van when his phone started ringing.

"Look here, lady," he said while digging in his black shoulder bag for his phone. "I was here first and you pushed in." He stared at the handful of smarties he'd pulled out of his bag and groaned in disbelief, tossing them away to the delight of nearby children and small dogs.

"I didn't push in." The woman he was arguing sniffed, adjusting the toddler she was balancing on her hip. "You'd left the line."

"I wanted to check the prices on the side of the van," Naruto said, pulling out a handful of leaves and marshmallows that he threw away in disgust, still rummaging for his phone.

The woman gave an elegant shrug. "You snooze you loose."

"You snooze you- I wasn't snoozing! I was wide awake! I- Aha!" Finally grabbing his phone, he blew a little fluff off the keys before accepting the call and propping it between his head and neck. "Yellow?"

"Naruto, where the hell are you?"

Naruto frowned, closing his bag and holding the phone properly. "I'm on my way, why?"

"Because your shift started five minutes ago!"

"What? But it's not even four ye..." Naruto trailed off as he registered that the big hand on his chunky blue watch was heading towards quarter past. "Er, I got sidetracked. It was very important." He gave the woman he'd been arguing with a glare, mouthing _you win this round_as he left the queue and set off at a jog along the street. "I'll be there in six minutes."

Seven minutes later, a sweaty Naruto stumbled gratefully into the air conditioned edutainment centre, ignoring the exasperated look from the receptionist, Shizune. "Sanctuary!" he shouted raising his hands to the ceiling and posing. The centre was about half full with twenty children and a handful of tutors, none of which looked up at the outburst, too used to Naruto's ways.

"Once you're done with that, Naruto, report to Tsunade. She's in the back, noting down every minute that she doesn't have to pay you for," Shizune said, spurring him to snap out of his dramatic interlude and head towards the office.

As he opened the door he heard a beep and found Tsunade looking at a stop watch. "You're sixteen minutes late, Uzumaki. I should fire you for that."

Dumping his bag, Naruto tugged off his black t-shirt, ignoring the way Tsunade rolled her eyes and turned around. She was the one that insisted latecomers didn't have the privilege of changing in the toilets. "Yeah but you won't because it'd be a nightmare to get someone to cover my shifts and you don't want to go through the paperwork.

"That, and you're the fastest at coffee runs," Tsunade conceded as Naruto tugged on his painfully yellow polo shirt and grabbed his name tag from his cubby.

"Alright, I'm ready for duty." He gave a playful salute. "Gimme the rundown."

"Ayame's off sick, so I've arranged the kids in bigger groups. You're having a new one today, and apparently he's a bit of a handful, so Shizune'll help with your group."

"There's a new kid?" Naruto paused in trying to fix his hair, using a spoon for a mirror. "What's his deal?"

"Nothing major, I'm sure." Tsunade had already turned back to her computer. "He was a little sulky in his trial, so he might take a while to settle in and make friends. You two'll be thick as thieves in no time."

* * *

"Woof," said Kiba.

"That's it, I'm done here." Kurenai threw her hands up in despair. "Uzumaki, sort him out. He needs to do two pages of comprehension before he can go play."

Naruto jogged over, giving Kiba a querying look. "What's up?"

"Woof," said Kiba.

"He's only talking in dog today," Kurenai told him.

"...Right." Naruto knelt down so he was at eye level with the boy. "How's that reading going, buddy?"

"Woof," said Kiba.

"Talking dog, huh?" Naruto nodded to himself. "Dogs are pretty cool, and really smart to. Infact, I bet one of these stories is about a dog." He flicked through the pages until he came to a story called Floppy Goes To The Zoo.

"Woof," said Kiba, but this time with a hint of interest.

"Why don't you read this and answer these questions, then you can go and play. There's a great picture of a dog you could colour in."

Faced with Naruto's beaming face, Kiba nodded and set to work, pencil scurrying across the pages.

Naruto gave Kurenai a superior smile.

He lost the smile when he came to check Kiba's work and found the answers were written in Dog.

* * *

They were enjoying the five thirty lull by indulging in a game of giant Jenga when the bell above the door rang and a woman stepped up to the counter. Before Shizune could rush back to the reception desk, Tsunade burst out of the office with a saleswoman smile stuck on her face.

"Mikoto! It's great to see you." She reached the front and opened the kiddie gate. "And this must be little Sasuke. He's adorable."

At that point, Kurenai sneezed and the giant Jenga tower crashed to the floor. By the time Naruto had managed to clear up the blocks and apologise to the child who had been partially submerged, he'd clean forgotten about Tsunade's new signup.

That was because Sakura and Ino had arrived. Naruto liked the girls, he really did. The way they fought, sometimes it seemed like he liked them more than they liked each other. The problem was that despite being step-siblings, they had a shared genius. Why their parents thought they needed tutoring was a mystery to Naruto, and it meant their work was ridiculously advanced.

"Naruto," Ino called five minutes into her session. "What does 'analogous' mean?"

Fortunately, Naruto had gotten pretty good at fobbing them off.

"It means, 'Ino is a very clever girl who knows how to use a dictionary', he said, tossing her one.

Sakura was harder to deal with.

"Naruto, how do you multiply fractions?"

At the call for help, Naruto swore he felt sweat break out on the back of his neck.

"Er, Kurenai, isn't multiplying fractions your favourite?" he asked hopefully.

"Nope." Kurenai remained serene as she sailed past to greet a parent, but Naruto thought he could detect a hint of smugness.

"Naruto?" Sakura looked up at him with curious green eyes.

"I'll just get some scrap paper," he said weakly.

_It's fine,_he thought to himself. I've passed GCSE maths, I did this. Just because I have no recollection whatsoever of how to do it, it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll just come back to me. Fine fine fine fine fine."

"What's fine, Naruto?" Ino asked, pausing in practicing her looped handwriting.

"Everything." On second thought, Naruto amended. "The weather." He gave Ino a pained smile. "Now let's start on these fractions."

After a depressing two minutes, Naruto had to admit he was stuck. He didn't want to lose face in front of Sakura and Ino, but he was completely lost. Normally he just kept prompting Sakura because whatever her giant brain came up with was usually correct, but today she wasn't giving him any suggestions. Rather she was just giving him a sort of disappointed look.

He finally decided to wing it.

"You add the denominators," he said confidently. "Like this."

"Wrong," said a voice Naruto would grow to hate. He paused in his lies and peeked along the desk to see a grim-looking boy glaring at him.

"You alright there?"

"You're doing it wrong."

Seeing that this had the potential to turn into a sticky situation, Naruto gave the kid his whole attention. "Hi, I don't think we've met! I'm Naruto. What's your name?"

"Naruto," the kid said, "you don't know how to multiply fractions, do you?"

It took some fast talking and a few gently pushes before Naruto managed to sit the kid down, far away from the girls and their fractions. "Alright, why don't you log on and we'll see what work you have today." He watched as little fingers typed 'Sasuke' into the login box of the computer and his personal learning programme came up.

"Right, so, Sasuke," Naruto said, emphasis on the name. "You've got two maths sessions, and then some comprehension. Is that okay?"

Sasuke blinked at him from under a thick dark fringe. "The rainforest is being destroyed."

"Er." Naruto nodded. "Yes, yes it is."

"Why is the rainforest being destroyed?"

Naruto had heard about this before. Kids that hid their uncertainty by trying to agitate people around them. Fortunately, during university he'd spent six weeks passionately and shirtlessly campaigning to save the rainforest.

"Because of a lot of reasons," he hedged, gathering his thoughts. "Some people cut it down for timber, and some people burn huge areas to turn into cattle ranches. A lot becomes fuel to make electricity and stuff."

Sasuke nodded slowly, the frown that had been pinching his face abating and Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. A sigh of very short-lived relief. "How do you make electricity."

Naruto gave Sasuke a considering look.

"I'll be right back."

Five minutes later, Naruto was reporting an explanation of how electricity was made which he was paraphrasing from a hurried look at the wikipedia page. "And then the steam is used to power this thing called a dynamo which turns and creates electricity!" He was quite pleased with himself for remembering any of that explanation. "Do you understand now?"

"No."

Alright, enough humouring. "Maybe you can look it up when you get home then. Why don't we do some work now?" He was encouraged when he saw Sasuke click on the maths icon and start a question using basic algebra. Satisfied, he went back to check on Sakura and was pleased to see she had finished the fractions questions.

When he managed to get back to Sasuke, however, the boy was still doing the same question. Or rather, he was using a pencil to viciously colour an entire sheet of A4 paper grey, while the question stayed on the screen.

"Sasuke? How's it going?"

Sasuke ignored him, adding a bit more pressure to his grip on the pencil and causing the paper to tear.

"Okay, while that's a really nice... drawing, how about we do some maths?" Sasuke still made no gesture, but didn't fight too much when Naruto gently pulled the drawing away. "So, twelve minus something, equals 3. Have you seen a question like this before?"

Sasuke tried to stare him down, and when this didn't help, asked: "why isn't Pluto a planet anymore?"

"Sasuke, I'm trying to help you," Naruto said, kneeling down to get on the child's level. "We can go through this together-"

"I don't want your help." It was the first honest thing he'd heard from the kid and the tone, petulant yet small, made Naruto pay attention.

"Why not?"

"You're stupid. My brother will help me. He knows everything."

Naruto decided to focus on the part of what Sasuke had said that wasn't an insult. "Your brother? You have an older brother?"

"Uh huh. He's called Itachi and he's fourteen and he's really smart." Sasuke's eyes had lit up as he started to talk about his brother, and he stumbled over his words in the haste to get them out. "He always helps me with maths and English and science and he says I'm really smart and gonna be smarter than him some day. I wanted him to help me, but," at this, he frowned, "Dad says I gotta come here."

For a few seconds, Naruto mulled it over. "So you only want your brother to teach you, but your dad says you have to come here?" Sasuke nodded sharply. "Have you thought that since you've got to come here anyway, you could work really hard and them impress your brother with what you've learned?"

Sasuke gave Naruto a suspicious look, but seemed to take a few seconds to think this through before giving a slow nod. "I do want him to be proud of me..."

"If you work hard, I bet you could get onto really advanced stuff," Naruto told him, trying to bolster his confidence. "You already know how to multiply fractions."

Sasuke's thoughtful expression was replaced by a superior one. "Everyone knows how to do that, you're just an idiot."

There had been a tiny, burgeoning seed of affection growing in Naruto, but with that ice-cold shutdown, it died.

"Just do your maths."

* * *

By the time Sasuke's mum arrived to pick him up, Naruto was exhausted. He fought to keep a professional-ish outlook as he gave her feedback on Sasuke's session. "So we looked at long division and using the DMS method," he glanced at Sasuke who was clutching his 'drawing', "I was impressed that Sasuke knows his fourteen times table."

"The fourteen times table is easy," Sasuke said with scorn. "You're just a moron."

"Quite a charmer you've got here," Naruto said, gritting his teeth., opening the kiddie door so Sasuke could join his mother. "Can't wait to see him again."

"Hey mum," Naruto heard Sasuke say as they walked out, "did you know electricity is made by a machine called a dynamo?"


	2. Watching the Clock

**Watching the Clock  
**

Sasuke's late again. I should have known.

We argued this morning, before he left for work. No kiss; he just walked out. Those days always end in the same way.

I wanted to do something nice to cheer him up. I made dinner, it was a new recipe. Lemon chicken with rice. Nothing too fancy because I'm not the best cook. Sometimes Sasuke comes into the kitchen and sees the mess I've made and gives me this fond look. Then he clears it up and chokes down whatever thing I've made even though it's normally over-spiced or burned or soggy or whatever. I don't think that's what will happen today. I know it's not.

Maybe it would be better if I could be honest with myself and recognise the pattern, but I can't do that. Because I can't accept what it would mean.

The chicken went cold long before he got home, and it was dark too. I didn't even eat it. I wasn't hungry which is funny, because it's one of the better things I've cooked. Maybe even better than the chicken and rice Sasuke makes, and I always eat that. I go back for seconds too, and he complains that the food bill is going to be too high, and that if I'm going to eat us out of house and home, shouldn't I pay the bill? But I think he secretly likes it. When I sit back down, he's always ducking his head so his hair covers his mouth like he does when he doesn't want me to see he's smiling. Like the way he always tucks his face into my neck when we're close, or in bed. He doesn't always like me to see him open like that. I don't mind, because it makes it even better when he does let me.

I wonder, at times like these, when I'm sitting in the dark because I have no energy to turn the lights on, watching the clock and waiting for Sasuke, if he's letting someone else see him like that.

* * *

Naruto's asleep when I get home. That's good. The apartment's dark and cold. It smells of lemon and I trace the scent to the kitchen. There's a casserole dish on the counter with baked chicken pieces in it. I dip a finger in the marinade and try it. Even cold, it doesn't taste bad. The stove has a pot full of lumpy rice. No matter how many times I show Naruto the right way to cook it he can't do it right, and he won't let me buy a rice cooker.

His rice is always lumpy and often burnt. I don't mind eating it though. I never told Naruto, but the first time Itachi had to make rice, after our parents died, it came out lumpy. Despite everything, eating that rice made me feel like things were going to be okay.

Time for a shower. If I was feeling particularly malicious, I'd go to bed like this. He's not stupid, he'd smell it on me and know. He probably knows anyway. But my skin feels clammy and cold at the same time, and a hot shower will warm me up.

I pass him in the lounge. He's fallen asleep on the sofa and has his hands clenched up near his mouth, looking like an overgrown child. I go to touch his face but stop before I make contact. The shower seems even more pressing, all of a sudden.

It's not like I plan these things, though Naruto thinks I do. He probably thinks there's some woman on the side that I sneak off to see, but it's not like that. Today, the same as most days, I was just angry with him. I hadn't been able to concentrate at work, and my hands shook while I was putting the designs together. I was at the photoboard when a girl started putting out signals, and I just thought why not?

It's so easy with them, and it feels right in a way it never does with Naruto. With them, it's like this quick, dirty thing. Meaningless. That's my sort of thing; that's how it should be with me. But Naruto, he doesn't see it like that. He always wants to make sex into this sacred union or something. He always wants more. I wonder, if that's what he wants, why is he with me at all? Maybe that's what I'm doing, everytime I come home like this. Trying to push him closer to the edge.

The shower doesn't warm me up. My skin blisters red while my insides stay chilled. While I'm drying off, I hear the floorboards creak, the sound of someone moving around. When I enter the bedroom, Naruto is curled up on the bed, facing away from me.

* * *

I woke up when I heard him in the kitchen, but pretended to be asleep until he left. I stay up waiting to confront him, but then sometimes the moment comes and I just let it go by. I just want to pretend there's nothing wrong. Maybe Sasuke does too, even if it makes no sense. At least he showers before coming to bed. There have been times when he didn't bother.

I've no feeling as I get ready for bed. My limbs feel heavy, maybe from the nap or maybe from my life. My head buzzes with all the things I want to say to Sasuke, but even they seem hollow and far away. I've said them all so many times, why would this time have a different effect?

With the bathroom door opening comes a handful of familiar scents: the body wash and shampoo Sasuke uses mingle together, floating on the lingering steam. I count the footsteps to the bed, then hear the discordant creak of springs as the bed depresses under his weight. The same scene that plays out every night like this.

This night I can't take it. I'm sick of shouting but I'm even more sick of pretending. I turn to him. "Sasuke-"

He kisses me. Nicely. A world away from the casual pecks that have marked our loneliness. As if he isn't able to kiss me all the time. A kiss that isn't taken for granted.

"Sasuke," I start again, as soon as I have my breath back, because one good kiss changes nothing, in the same way washing off the scent of another woman doesn't mean nothing happened.

"I'm sorry," he says, before I can finish. He cuts me off, but I don't mind, because I can't remember what I was going to say next. He doesn't say it again. He doesn't say what for, though we both know it. He doesn't promise not to do it again. He just looks at me, with that scared, open look. I can't help it, I pull him close and let him press his face into the crook of my neck. We stay that way until we fall asleep.

* * *

**AN: **I have no idea what this one was about. That's a lie, it was about not studying and that aim was achieved well so hooray.


	3. Setting the Mood

**Setting the Mood**

Why couldn't he had decided to have sex with someone nicer, Naruto wondered to himself.

"_Stop tensing_," Sasuke was hissing from somewhere behind him. Naruto ignored this and continued his line of thought.

Hinata. He should have had sex with Hinata. She had great boobs. And she was really nice. She'd probably have made him a really nice meal beforehand, then given him a massage. And the boobs.

Or Sakura. She knew stuff about things. Human things, so probably sex things too. She would probably be a bit bossy, maybe pull his hair, but it would be better than this. She did have boobs as well. They were nice.

But no, instead he had chosen Sasuke, for some reason he couldn't remember right now. Sasuke didn't have any boobs to speak of. It didn't make sense.

"_Naruto_. Are you listening to me?" There was a sharp pinch behind his right knee and it drew him away from comforting thoughts of Hinata's breasts.

"What? It's not like you're saying anything important. I'm suffering enough as it is."

"If you wouldn't tense up, it wouldn't hurt so much," Sasuke said, frustrated.

"If you hadn't backed out at the last minute all '_oh, I have an exam tomorrow, I need to be able to sit down for three hours_' (which you could have just taken pain killers for, by the way) then we wouldn't be having this problem!" He twisted his neck round to give Sasuke an evil glare. "Maybe your technique just sucks."

"I am doing everything the book says," Sasuke gritted out, gesturing to the hefty tome propped open on the dresser. "I am going slowly; we are swimming in lube. The only problem is you aren't relaxing."

"Maybe you should relax me then," Naruto shot back. "The book said to try and distract me. I'd have given you head."

"How can I give you head? You're lying on your stomach."

"I could get up on my knees?"

"Then how would I see what I was doing? I wouldn't be able to read the book."

"Yeah yeah, you've got the stupid thing memorised by now, surely." Naruto blinked as something landed on the pillow he was resting his chin on. "Huh?"

"There, distract yourself."

Naruto looked at the Gameboy, then shrugged, flicking it on. "Fine, but this isn't really setting the mood."

"There was no mood to begin with," Sasuke muttered.

"Not since you started talking about your pretend exam, at least."

There was quiet as the game loaded up, then the soft click of buttons.

"Sasuke, why is your squad so rubbish? You don't have any fighting types. There's no Gyarados. What kind of a squad doesn't have a Gyarados?"

"It's a perfectly balanced squad," Sasuke said from somewhere between Naruto's knees.

"It's lame." Naruto flicked the sound on and hummed along. "You haven't taught your Rattata any good moves. All I've got is scratch, hyperfang and sand attack. _Sand attack_, Sasuke. I can't work like this."

"Use hyperfang then." He shifted. "How does that feel?"

"Huh?" Naruto paused in frantically pressing B. "Oh. Okay. Kind of gross."

"It doesn't feel good?" Sasuke sounded like he was frowning.

"Kind of good- ah, shit, your Rattata evolved. Is that okay?"

"It's fine."

"Cool." Naruto started running around some long grass.

"Naruto."

"Huh? What?"

"I'm done."

"Okay." He went back to the game, then flinched when Sasuke pinched him, behind his left knee, this time. "Ow, fucking what?"

Sasuke gave him a cold glare.

"Oh, right. Okay."

He turned off the game.

* * *

**AN:** I love this story! Hahaha, it's so ridiculous but... I really like it. It was the story that made me decide to compile all my random sillies. Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Bundles of Joy

**Bundles of Joy  
**

It was with a sad resignation that Sasuke realised his children were ugly.

He'd blamed it on a lot of things: baby fat; teething; the horrible faces they made for no reason he could understand. Now, with his eldest (Kazuya, 4 years old, fond of sweets _sometimes_) sitting quiescent and looking terribly, terrible ugly, Sasuke could fight the truth no more.

"Pop," said Kazuya, as Sasuke rose wearily from slipping off the boy's sandals and putting them in the rack. In the living room, Jintan and Erin (2 and a half years. _D__emons_) were throwing cushions from the kotatsu between them, ignoring the foam ball Sasuke had bought them just last week when they broke _another_ glass.

"Your pop." Kazuya thrust the lollypop he'd been eating forward. The one he'd begged Sasuke to buy for him, the one he'd started crying for, sat down in the street and _refused_ to move until Sasuke bought him. That lollypop was the one that hit Sasuke's face, slipped its sticky way across his cheek and lodged in his hair.

Sighing, Sasuke looked at Kazuya's beaming face. "Pop for Daddy," the little boy sang as Sasuke tried to remove the sweet from his hair, wincing as it pulled a few strands loose.

"Thanks, Kazuya," he managed, patting the boy on the head. The four year old's smile spread even further across his face, somehow making him look uglier than ever. "Go play with your brother and sister."

He watched the child pad across the tatami mats and wrestle the cushion from his siblings.

It didn't make any sense, Sasuke thought as he removed his own shoes and rested his head in his hands for a moment, ignoring the squabbling that had broken out behind him. He was attractive; his whole family was attractive. It wasn't vanity, it was just truth. He had smooth pale skin, straight dark hair, even features and a predisposition to avoid acne. He'd practically won the genetic lottery. It would be nice if he could blame the whole thing on Naruto, but that wasn't right either, Sasuke thought, grinding his teeth at the unfairness of it all. Though Naruto, it was true, was a little rough around the edges, he wasn't_ bad_ looking. He had big eyes and a bigger smile, plenty of girls thought he was cute. Sasuke had seen pictures of his parents and the problem clearly wasn't there.

Despairing and hoping his children had been misplaced at birth and now magically replaced with attractive, normal-looking children, Sasuke looked up to see Kazuya trying to smother Jintan with the cushion while Erin pulled at his t-shirt. No, still ugly.

Kazuya had initially looked exactly like Sasuke. For the first few hours, Sasuke had lived without the burden of ugly children. He had dark hair and pale skin. Then he'd opened his eyes, which were revealed to be huge and blue as if plucked straight from Naruto's face, along with his too-wide mouth. That had been bad enough, but when coupled with his hair which was a cross between Naruto's and Sasuke's style, but with no order whatsoever, he appeared mostly like a sort of wild creature they had picked up on the streets.

After Kazuya, Sasuke had thought the others would be more... normal. Just unlucky the first time, right? But then came the twins, Erin and Jintan. They were unidentical, but both ugly in their own way. Erin had Sasuke's neat features but Naruto's wide face, making her appear always scrunched up, like a vole. Jintan, like his sister, had red hair that smoothed unfortunately around his face, making him look like the tomato his grandmother had been teased for. It combined with Naruto's tanned complexion to make him appear constantly feverish.

It would have been okay if they'd been clever, Sasuke thought, but all three children had Naruto's brain, combined with Sasuke's stubbo- _tenacity_ and it made teaching them even the most rudimentary things all but impossible.

It made no sense. Sakura and Lee's kids had Sakura's chakra control and Lee's energy, not a fuzzy eyebrow in sight. Ino and Shikamaru's offspring had Ino's charisma and Shikamaru's brains. They ran rings around Sasuke's kids.

It was karma or something, Sasuke told himself, turning out the sound of Kazuya squealing and someone (probably Erin) spitting. They'd mixed two gene pools that should never have come into contact and now they were paying the price.

Just as Sasuke was contemplating semi-permanent henges, the door clicked open and he blinked, seeing Naruto appear, grinning at him. The idiot had been in Suna for nearly a month and Sasuke hadn't expected him for another week.

"Naruto, what are you..." He trailed off, eyes falling from Naruto's suggestive grin to the undisguisable swell of his stomach.

"Guess what, Sasuke?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Sasuke gasped, clutching his chest, hand slipping on the sweat that had gathered there. He felt his heart pound wildly as he looked around the room. He was at Naruto's place, in his stupid tiny bed, and there were no ugly children. It had all been a terrible dream.

"Sasuke," Naruto mumbled, eyes closed, "whatchu' shouting 'bout?"

"Naruto." Sasuke swallowed, laid a hand on Naruto's perfectly flat stomach, feeling the muscles twitch under his skin. "Promise me you will never get pregnant." His expression was solemn.

"Er, you got it, Uchiha."

THE END.

* * *

**AN:** If anyone's interested, I just finished writing a lolsome short multi-chap called Grind It Up. I'm not posting it on because although it is not explicit, it is full of filthy references and not really appropriate for kids. If you want to read it, check out my lj (link in my profile) or message me and I'll hook you up.


	5. Naruto Explains It All

**Naruto Explains It All**

"Boom!" Naruto bounded into the room, then jumped onto the bed, messing up the navy covers and causing one of the pillows to fall onto the floor. "Bang bang kapow!"

The sound of keys tapping was uninterrupted, so giving Sasuke a dirty look, Naruto continued.

"Bang! Boom! Kablammo!" A pause. "BOOM!" The first few made no difference, but the last one had quite an effect, probably because it was shouted directly into Sasuke's ear. The typing stopped, but Naruto didn't appreciate it as much because he had just been elbowed in the gut.

"Why... are you so pointy?" Naruto spent a few minutes getting back the breath that he'd lost when his spleen and Sasuke's elbow came closer than they should ever be.

"Because you don't understand words," Sasuke said. He started typing again.

"Anyway," Naruto said loudly once his breathing had returned to normal. "Maybe you were wondering why I was making those noises."

"I wasn't," said Sasuke.

"It's a good thing to wonder about," Naruto carried on, "but wonder no more, as I am going to tell you." He noticed that Sasuke wasn't looking at him, and so grabbed the back of Sasuke's computer chair and rolled him away from the desk. Sasuke carried on typing until his fingers couldn't touch the keys, and was mostly resigned by the time Naruto turned him around to be his audience.

"The noises I was making," Naruto said, "are the noises we can hear right now from outside." He paused, hoping that they would get an example, but there was none. "Okay not right now. But sort of right now. They are... fireworks." He said this with particular emphasis and looked at Sasuke meaningfully.

"Yeah," said Sasuke.

"We can hear the fireworks, but we cannot see them," Naruto continued, undeterred. He took a few steps to the window and drew back the curtain to show the night sky. "From our window, we can only see," he pointed, leaving finger marks on the glass, "this ugly tree that looks like a witch, and the huge satellite dish that belongs to Sitcom Man."

"You're getting marks on the window," Sasuke said.

"My point," Naruto said, "is that it is bonfire night and we are at home, not watching the awesome fireworks displays because you are a killjoy."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is! You do this every single year."

"You said you wanted to stay at home with Dog so that he didn't get scared of the fireworks," Sasuke said monotonously.

"What?" said Naruto, at the same time that Sasuke looked around their bedroom and said:

"Where _is_ Dog?"

Naruto ran out of the room.

A few minutes later, a damp Naruto was ushering a drenched Dog into their bedroom. Dog seemed happy enough - happier at least than Sasuke as he watched water roll off the animal and soak into the carpet.

"He doesn't seem all that scared of the fireworks," Naruto said, grabbing a sweatshirt from the washing basket and using it to get some of the water off the golden retriever.

Sasuke agreed. He also noticed that Dog was more interested in jumping onto their bed and soaking their sheets.

Naruto - skilled in understanding Sasuke's body language - saw the tightening around his mouth as he watched the animal cover the bed in wet dog.

"Let's go have sex in the kitchen," Naruto said.

Sasuke, weighing up the irritating of being manipulated with the idea of anything that would take his mind off the desecration of his sheets, shrugged.

"Yeah okay."

The End

* * *

This is just a random thing I wrote in my head because I was stuck on a train on bonfire night and could hear all the fireworks but not see them, and also you should take care of your pets when it's bonfire night so don't forget to do that okay.


	6. Cold Comfort

**Note: This story is NaruSasu at the heart of it, but there's a more dominant pairing so if you're allergic to anything but NaruSasu, you might want to give it a miss. **

**Cold Comfort  
**

Sasuke was lying on the kitchen floor when Kakashi returned. His head and shoulders were hidden by the sink, legs sticking out and an assortment of tools spread around him.

"Drain's blocked. I'm fixing it. Don't turn on the tap," he said by way of explanation. His hand patted along the floor until his fingers touched cool metal and he lifted the spanner, using it to tighten something.

"Could have called a plumber," Kakashi said as he undid his kunai pouch and dropped it on the table.

"What's the point?" Sasuke grunted, biceps clenching and then a clang of metal. His shirt lay crumpled next to him and as he shuffled out from under the sink he grabbed it, swiping it across his forehead with his free hand.

"Hey."

Kakashi blinked, coming away from his thoughts. "Hm?"

"You look spaced out." Sasuke gave him a look. Not concerned or quarrelsome. Just a comment and just a look. He brushed past Kakashi on his way to the shower, leaving the faintest trace of sweat and rust in the air.

Kakashi let his eyes fall back to the sink. In another world, in an alternate reality that played through his mind, he had come in and turned on the tap. Sasuke had shouted when the water hit him, and scrambled out, soaked and furious. He had picked a fight, but Kakashi had teased him until they both laughed at the situation and spent long minutes kissing him into the counter and feeling cold water soak into his clothes, before it warmed by combination of their body heat.

A groan echoed through the apartment as the shower turned on and Kakashi listened to storyboard of noise: the rustle and drop of clothes, the drag as Sasuke grabbed a towel from the cabinet and the grind as he pulled back the shower screen and stepped in.

How was it possible to feel this tired, but be alive? How could he have seen so much and been so many different people in just one lifetime? Kakashi dragged himself to the bedroom, undressed and dropped himself on the bed. He pushed his forehead protector up, let his sharingan swirl and slipped into his memories.

**

It had been lovely to see, that bond between Naruto and Sasuke.

All it took was seeing them together for people to move past their worries and fears, and to turn merciful.

One look and the whole village fell in love.

In a society where children grew up faster than they ever should have to - became outcasts and monsters and murderers before they had lost their first set of teeth - an innocent romance held more power than might bet expected.

Because, despite everything, that's what it was. Demons, betrayals and massacres aside, when Naruto and Sasuke were together, they were nothing more or less than two teenage boys, trying to come to terms with their feelings for each other. They spoke to each other at first with stilted words and loaded glances, and then grew brave. The nervousness as they tried to navigate untrodden terrain, melted into affection and comfort. Into security and trust and home. In that, at least, they had been children.

There was not a ninja over the age of fifteen that didn't understand how important that kind of bond was and how treasured the connection should be. So if Naruto and Sasuke turned up late to meetings or rushed a mission to get home earlier, people turned a blind eye.

Young love was a precious thing, was the consensus, because it didn't last.

Kakashi hated it when people were right.

**

The room was dark when Kakashi opened his eyes, and there was a warm weight pressed against his hip. Somewhere along the line, memory had twisted into dream. A heavy pulse beat in his head, deep in his eye socket, and he reached up to rub at his eye, tugging off his forehead protector completely and turning his face into the cool comfort of the pillow.

A hum to his left, and then a sigh. The weight moved away and then returned, closer than before, stretched out along his side. Kakashi let his hand come up to run lightly down Sasuke's skin, fingers juddering when he came to the scars scattered here and there. Another sigh as Sasuke settled fully, muscles relaxing.

"Alright?" Sasuke's voice was gravely, a hoarse whisper.

"Fine." Sasuke was closer at night. When - during the quiet, lost hours - their bodies came together, he was gentle, almost tender. Kakashi sometimes wondered if Sasuke truly forgot, or if he simply indulged and let the inky darkness blanket the truth while his mind filled in the blanks.

Maybe he was too old, but he didn't mind. It hurt, but it was not the sharp slice of betrayal, but an ache; a deep sadness that thrummed through his blood and made his steps heavy. It was loving someone and knowing it would never be enough to matter, and not even wanting it to be. Theirs wasn't a love story. It was an epilogue - cold comfort, better left unsaid.

But that, thought Kakashi, feeling Sasuke's breath evening out against his bare shoulder, was better than no comfort at all.

* * *

**AN:** Thought I'd better put the warning at the top before people complain to me. I liked the idea of this one, but I don't really expect other people to like it so. I'll put up something more cheerful next time.


End file.
